[RL with Mello]

[quicksavensmoke]

All the controversy (if you could call it that) was making him all the more anxious.

Minato was kind enough to give him a hop, and not before long, Matt was back in New York. One of the 'home sweet home's. He glanced down at the sheet of the paper which held Mello's address, lifted his goggles and squinted.

It was strange-- a little too surreal. He looked down at his phone, and went through the contacts. 'Went through', was a poor choice of wording - there was only one person in there.

Mello.

So the question now was, if he dialed the number, would Mello answer? It didn't matter. The only option was to knock on the door, and impatiently twist the handle. If all went right, it would be locked and take Mello just a few seconds and a yell to get the door.

Comments

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

"Over my dead body!"

Mello was furious. Never had crimson cheeks shone so brightly.
Despite himself, he smiled, teeth exposed.

"You've got balls, I'll give you that..."

What could he do? Swear? Scream? Kick him out into the snow?
Had Matt finally lost his mind?

He laughed in disbelief.

"This isn't one of your video games. Matt, I can't just quit..."

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

"So you want to risk your life even if you're never going to come out on top?" bitterness struck him. He didn't want to lose him again, and he was getting the feeling he didn't even take him seriously - that much was obvious.

"Stop... making this your life. Listen to me, would you? You're going to fall into a damn grave if you do. Just trust me- just this once? I can tell you everything - but not here?" he wanted to say, "not here where you can run off. I'd rather get you out first, and leave you stuck with me."

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

Mello stared back at him, cold and unflinching.

"Is that how it is? Even you can't believe in me now?"

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

"Give me a break. You want to try? Then try. Get yourself killed. You think this is a game anyone can win? It's not. The winner is left with shit around him because everyone will be dead. You think that's winning? If that's the win you want... go for it, Mello."

He tossed his cigarette, and without even lighting another, stuck his hands into his pockets; hiding a frown.

"It's not the life I want."

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

"No one's asking you to risk your life!
I never asked you to come and save me!"

He was animated now, hair in his face and arms outstretched.

"Is that why you came here? To tell me that I'd fail?"

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

Matt only sighed, looking a little defeated.

"Yes, Mello. I came here to tell you you were a big old failure..." he was ready to head for the door. It was too easy to put people out of his life, and if Mello didn't need or want to be in it, he really didn't want or need anyone else.

"I don't think you need me- but I know what you ... or are going to ask me to do for you, and I'll do it- even if I'm mad at you, I'll do it. I'll always help you, Mello. Even if you think you can do it without me. So don't you see? I just want something that isn't.. this. Something for once that doesn't revolve around that idiot, or that idiot book. And gods, and kids that want to be god. It's our world, and our life. I can't escape it any more than you can- but damn if I don't try."

The last thing he'd want to do is fail his only family. That's what he was, he was family. Everything more than and nothing less than, for that matter.

"Put your faith in me just this once. Don't come with me, but... if you want to- then, I'll be around." How did that sound? He didn't want to fight. He wanted to beg him to come with him, that it was five months too long without him. The world could fuck off.