[RL with Mello]

[quicksavensmoke]

All the controversy (if you could call it that) was making him all the more anxious.

Minato was kind enough to give him a hop, and not before long, Matt was back in New York. One of the 'home sweet home's. He glanced down at the sheet of the paper which held Mello's address, lifted his goggles and squinted.

It was strange-- a little too surreal. He looked down at his phone, and went through the contacts. 'Went through', was a poor choice of wording - there was only one person in there.

Mello.

So the question now was, if he dialed the number, would Mello answer? It didn't matter. The only option was to knock on the door, and impatiently twist the handle. If all went right, it would be locked and take Mello just a few seconds and a yell to get the door.

Comments

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

Well, that was quick...

"World Hopping", they'd called it. Just like that; to transfer matter through time and space.
...Why hadn't he figured that out?

⎯It was a quandary for another time.

He stood for a moment, resting his hand against the deadbolt.
His mind was swimming with unanswered questions. It... was "Matt" on the other side, right?

With uncharacteristic caution, he cracked the door, stepping back and aside to dodge the flurries.

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

No time for waiting, he was freezing. Matt shoved the door open the second he caught it opening.

As classless as ever.

But to hell with that, it was cold- and this was Mello.

"Long time no see, bro." It was awkward, but if he played it cool, it would come true. "This, is why I didn't take a plane."

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

"Yeah... Been a while, huh?" His voice was quiet as he stared at the floor, eyes lowered and terribly distracted.

"I'm glad you're safe."

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

"Maybe a little different for both of us." he exhaled, and walked around him- inspecting all corners. A trail of smoke followed and he leaned in, smirking.

"Yeah you too. Not a scratch on ya. So, you missed me?"

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

Mello sneered, humorless and openly bitter.
("Sure. No thanks to your 'friends'...")

He gestured towards the cigarette.

"Right. Missed that plenty."

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

"Don't be so sour, Mello... " he was saying words, but his voice seemed elsewhere. He was picking at him with his fingers. Poking, tugging at clothes, pulling on his hair ends gently. Making sure he was real.

He was one step away from putting his cigarette out on his hand-- to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

No consideration. Cigarette smoke through the 'golden locks'. "Problem?"

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

He'd watched the man circle him once or twice, but now, he was getting annoyed.
With a sigh, he swatted the curious fingers.

"Pretty brave of you, Matt... You always talk to ghosts like this?"

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

"If that ghost was you? Yeah. You're not so scary to me."

He scowled- which was really more like frowning. "I think it was you who always told me not to fear that shit, right?"

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

He smiled, something genuine this time.

"Right. ...I remember."

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

Matt was quiet for a long time. He walked around the room, and eventually sat down in a chair, immediately lighting up another cigarette. The same chain smoking bastard as always. It had to be his third one.

"So, I've been thinking- trying to figure out where all of this went wrong. You know, in the time-space-whatever. "I'm" not hiding somewhere else am I?" He didn't believe it, but he wanted to hear it from him. "What I mean is.. you haven't heard from me in a long time right? Like say oh.... almost a year and 2 months?"

In his mind he was pleading for this to be true. Hell, even "one year two weeks" would work for him right now.

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

"14 months?"

Mello shook his head. He was anxious now, searching his vest for the outline of chocolate.

No, Matt hadn't changed. Same habits... Same blue eyes...
Same pouting, pitiful, 'don't-let-me-down' expression.

"It's been... 4 years."

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

"Four years...? Damn..." the disappointment was obvious. He was nervous again. Unsure and confused. He scratched his head and took a deeper drag from his cigarette.

"Okay, so it's true then. I guess I should apologize for not sending all those christmas cards." things seemed warped. The community had dragged his ass through so much, he couldn't really remember how far apart they were now. He had been through so many worlds and years without aging, and even escaped his own death-- and Mello's too. But if it's true what Azula said, all those that are supposed to die will anyway.

"Hey, you wanna come back to England with me?" a quick get-to in the conversation. Same awkward, strange Matt for sure. He couldn't tell him, "I don't want you to die again, don't leave again." But it was going through his head even while he talked out loud.

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

Mello looked shocked. ⎯Even for Mello.
In an instant, the thoughtful, tranquil Mello was gone.

"Are you out of your mind!? Don't you know what I came here to do?"

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

Matt shrugged. Careless, and dismissive of all worries- like always.

"Yeah, I know." he sounded so casual. As if Mello asked him if he knew fish swam in the water. "So is that yes? Because it sounded like a yes." He was already up, and looking through Mello's things-- for a suitcase, of course.

"You need a vacation. And your birthday is coming up in a day, and not to mention I promised some friends I'd be at a party;" and without even a five second pause or break in his search through Mello's things he added, "Yeah, I know. A party. Ridiculous, right? Friends..."

He gave up, and started to grab various items into his arms. "Whelp, come on. Off we go! Don't worry. We can get you more chocolate where we're going. And leather, if you're still into that sort of thing."

If Mello said 'No.' then, he'd have to try even harder. He wasn't letting him stay here.

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

The guy was rifling through his things like trash.
For a full 30 seconds, he stood there and watched, owl-eyed, and mouth agape.

Was Matt... not at all concerned with Kira?
Didn't he know how important this was?

He grabbed for a jacket as Matt bustled by.

"What⎯ What the hell do you think you're doing!
You can't just pack me up!"

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

In a sigh and a shrug, Matt turned his head to look at his friend as his jacket was grabbed. In one move he exhaled smoke at the blond, and seemed just as unconcerned as expected.

"No. I'm not- because I know someone else will take care of it. And heaven forbid that it's Near. I'm saving your life. So I'm tired of your bitching, and for once you're going to take a hint from my book. We're going to grab your shit- or none of it, if you rather, and come back for it later."

It was hard to tell what his eyes were trying to get across, but he looked straight at him anyway.

"It's your call. I'm not going to beg." It was a lie. If Mello did say no, he would beg and put on the works, but Mello didn't know that-- maybe. "If you dont want to, I'll go back to England, and pretend this never happened. You can be on your own- without my insider help. Either way, you better give up."

Not quite a spine grown, but it looked that way, at least.

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

"Over my dead body!"

Mello was furious. Never had crimson cheeks shone so brightly.
Despite himself, he smiled, teeth exposed.

"You've got balls, I'll give you that..."

What could he do? Swear? Scream? Kick him out into the snow?
Had Matt finally lost his mind?

He laughed in disbelief.

"This isn't one of your video games. Matt, I can't just quit..."

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

"So you want to risk your life even if you're never going to come out on top?" bitterness struck him. He didn't want to lose him again, and he was getting the feeling he didn't even take him seriously - that much was obvious.

"Stop... making this your life. Listen to me, would you? You're going to fall into a damn grave if you do. Just trust me- just this once? I can tell you everything - but not here?" he wanted to say, "not here where you can run off. I'd rather get you out first, and leave you stuck with me."

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

Mello stared back at him, cold and unflinching.

"Is that how it is? Even you can't believe in me now?"

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

"Give me a break. You want to try? Then try. Get yourself killed. You think this is a game anyone can win? It's not. The winner is left with shit around him because everyone will be dead. You think that's winning? If that's the win you want... go for it, Mello."

He tossed his cigarette, and without even lighting another, stuck his hands into his pockets; hiding a frown.

"It's not the life I want."

[blond-with-envy.livejournal.com]

"No one's asking you to risk your life!
I never asked you to come and save me!"

He was animated now, hair in his face and arms outstretched.

"Is that why you came here? To tell me that I'd fail?"

[quicksavensmoke.livejournal.com]

Matt only sighed, looking a little defeated.

"Yes, Mello. I came here to tell you you were a big old failure..." he was ready to head for the door. It was too easy to put people out of his life, and if Mello didn't need or want to be in it, he really didn't want or need anyone else.

"I don't think you need me- but I know what you ... or are going to ask me to do for you, and I'll do it- even if I'm mad at you, I'll do it. I'll always help you, Mello. Even if you think you can do it without me. So don't you see? I just want something that isn't.. this. Something for once that doesn't revolve around that idiot, or that idiot book. And gods, and kids that want to be god. It's our world, and our life. I can't escape it any more than you can- but damn if I don't try."

The last thing he'd want to do is fail his only family. That's what he was, he was family. Everything more than and nothing less than, for that matter.

"Put your faith in me just this once. Don't come with me, but... if you want to- then, I'll be around." How did that sound? He didn't want to fight. He wanted to beg him to come with him, that it was five months too long without him. The world could fuck off.